wake up younger under the knife

This year has been a year of many realisations, as Baker keeps telling me once you reach 25 there's no hope for you any more (his words with much poetic licence). But for all the manic mood swings and turning away of some friends, this year is another one of those years I could consider something. I could write them down and describe them in detail, but that isn't the point, many a post ago I talked about the moments which mean something to you.

A little exercise for you all, place your hands in front of you, turn one palm up to the ceiling or the sky and turn the other palm to the floor. Close your eyes and try to remember the moments in your which you realised something or if something changed in that split-second. Be them good or bad, these are the sorts of moments I'm referring to. Open your eyes and whisper them into your closed hands and press them to your chest, if we were to share them, they would lose their lustre. Instead keep them in your heart.

1990, 1996, 2003, 2006. And for this moment in my life 2008. Last year was a learning curve a definite change but also a chore, it was making the motions like walking through life's rites of passage. One thing that hasn't changed, I still don't know when I'm in love with someone, but I have learnt to not yearn for something you can't have again.

I whispered the moment a few times to myself and it won't leave my heart.

Something I wrote in 2006.

The bus up to the airport was bumpy and badly driven, the driver was bald with wisps of hair between his ears, he stayed silent for the whole journey bar ten minutes at the end. In my tiredness I’m assuming he’s scared of my cousins loud Chinese and even louder English. I still think he’s an awful driver even when he opens up to us and tells us where we should be heading in Heathrow. I keep writing about it being my second home, but the airport is always cold and the essence of multiculturalism which I never see living in the quiet south. My cousin makes me laugh so hard that I want to fall over and get crushed by a thousand sandals, his words too politically incorrect and ignorant for me to repeat without fearing a backlash. I rub my eyes to red again, trying to stay awake so that I can take in all the experiences which I know I'm going to enjoy over the next 7 weeks. All the new ones and all the usual ones, I'm checking in my bags and already infuriated with my adopted family of my cousins down the road. I know its going to be a hard 7 days with them and I can look forward to the dreaming spires of steel and concrete that is Hong Kong built over a bay which is sinking into the sea.

I wonder what the girl is thinking and hope she is asleep having a lovely dream maybe about me, but I would prefer a dream about the good things in her life. I think I will buy her something from Hong Kong.

musik

• Rise Up With Fists- Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
• The Red, the White, the Black, the Blue- Hope Of The States
• Temptation- New Order
• Bizarre Love Triangle- New Order

vershieden

• Gary being sufficient.
• Geoffrey for being such a top guy and speaking in the Queens English.
• Waking up at the bar trying to remember where you are.
• Taking solace in other peoples pain.
• Canadian whiskey.
• Being inspired by bored children and passing trains.