hate for the ones we love?

Last year was me taking my time in understanding all the things that I wanted and slowly getting them. Not to objectify it all, it wasn’t like a list of things which I said today I will get this. It was more ensuring that when I met those targets it was to be satisfied in them. Reaching out and doing my best to make sure I was getting the best out of things. The best out of life. Luckily this never ends, if you defeat every enemy who is left to fight?

The year before last was really the last vestiges of the old me, the stress of work, the losing and gaining of friends but more importantly the move across the water. Last year I wrote a lot about letting go of those childish things, but the reality was for all the interesting words I put up last year, they were slowly slipping away the year before anyway.

So it brings me to this year, rather I couldn’t let New Years Day be the place holder for all changes, but since going back to Hong Kong for the umpteenth time and up to last weekend, to say my life was all over would be a lie. To say things cannot return to what once was would be closer to the truth. In the throng of writhing European Language students descending on a single house in North End, Dizzee Rascal peaks my interest and I see my best friend dancing to it all, like it was 5 maybe 10 years since I’ve known him. I’m enjoying the night but realise I have nothing to say to these kids all trying their hardest to have an amazing time. I don’t bother trying, just let it go, you don’t need to be accepted by these people and neither will you. Acting your age is one thing, acting the age of your peers and not realising that your skin is sagging and your passport picture no longer looks like you.

Neither am I jealous of all of this. I always wondered what the best way of maturing would be, I haven’t found the definitive answer but for me it goes along the lines of enjoy what you have done, what you have in your hands, remember the past, but never try to relive. Reminds me a little of that Orbital song where the son is asking his father question about regret.

Never live in regret my beautiful eggs.

musik

• Biffy Clyro
• Everyday is the Same- Nine Inch Nails
• Artist in the Ambulance- Thrice
• Running Up That Hill- Placebo/ Kate Bush
• Rodrigo Y Gaberiela

buch

• Yakuza Moon: Memoirs of a Gangster's Daughter
• Batman- Haunted Knight

videospiele

• Wii Sports Resort
• Final Fantasy VIII
• Sim City 4
• Warcraft III

fernsehen

• House
• F-Word
• 24 day 1 + 8

verschiedenes

• Realising Kate Bush started it all,
• Hartle for being a gayer,
• Fosterball for being a legend,
• Newman for being well Newman,
• Androiding
• Losing at Wii Sports