cause either way I'm dead

A different tack this week, after being cut down by a colleague/friend about my sparse knowledge about certain subjects (don't worry redemption is in a pocket guide of misc facts), I thought I would share something dear to me.

In The Mood For Love/ 花樣年華 - Hurt and angry, they find comfort in their growing friendship even as they resolve not to be like their unfaithful mates.

Don't worry no spoilers on the film, but please do watch it.



My eyes were burning and I felt a little more lonely after I had seen In the Mood for Love, I paused at the end of the credits and looked around to see if I had any support from the people around me. For a sad state affairs I was alone and could only text Seth to tell him Chungking Express was no longer my favourite film of the moment. He takes a few 3 mins to reply and say 'I'm sorry for you Andrew I know how much it means to you'. Of course that never happened, but I did feel some loneliness and then some more after the film, the sun had set a long time ago, now somewhere over America making all the wake up to the news that there was a new day and we should be thankful to the lord.

The film is a slow burner like watching someone leaving their cigarette lit and not smoking it, letting the ash form into a length and then a small crescendo tapping off the ash onto the table. I love Wong Kar Wai films for his attention to the words, but I love them even more for the cinematographer Christopher Doyle he blends he colours all rouge like bad lipstick, but placed picture perfect onto the canvas. I spend a good week contemplating how much I want to take up smoking and slicking back my hair with a good pomade.

But why did the film resonate so much, I've never been married, never been cheated on, never been on a cusp of a fake affair, never had a stake driven through your heart. The truth is the third in that list, the idea of a fake affair is what runs around my small little mind because of this film. Could one live a lie, to hurt someone else. Could you fuck someone else to hurt the one you loved because her affair was more real than the shame you make up in your head, turn a few corners down some streets only to watch as she bawls her eyes out or she takes a sharp right turn to avoid you. I couldn't be sure of the outcome in my own life and the film doesn't give all the details, except that their intense folly is simply that, only a folly for ones self gratification. But hey, if everyone is being selfish, can't Cheung Man Yuk be selfish for the next hour and a half.

I close my eyes a bit happier with my epiphany knowing that a lie would make me happy for a few minutes, but keep me awake for the rest of my life knowing i hurt the one I loved, even if she never loved me in the second place.

Much love people.

Making the latest faux pas by offering cigarettes to a girlfriend, the look on her face was a priceless melt of deep and sick hatred. She said something like 'take those death sticks and go fuck yourself, but yeah I'm still free next weekend'.

I nod my head a few times and shuffle off lighting the Lucky Strike that was already in my mouth. Suffice to say I fell in love with this girl at once and we would marry each other sometime in the future. Beautiful girl with those Chinese brown eyes and a penchant for the white powder. All I can do is buy some more cigarettes in time for next Tuesday.

musik

• A Subtle Dagger- Thrice
• Deadbolt- Thrice
• Paper Tigers- Thrice
• Raw Deal- Murder By Death
• The Big Sleep- Murder By Death
• Shiloa- Murder By Death
• I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked- Ida Maria
• Anyone Else But You- The Moldy Peaches
• Grounds for Divorce- Elbow
• I'm a Cuckoo- Belle and Sebastian
• Step Into My Office- Belle and Sebastian
• Cut Your Hair- Pavement
• Surfacing- Slipknot
• La Cienega Smiled- Ryan Adams
• Call me on the Way Back Home- Ryan Adams
• Sawdust and Diamonds- Joanna Newsom
• Cosmia- Joanna Newsom
  

kino

• Childs Play

videospiele

• Crono Trigger
• Super Mario Kart
• Puyo Puyo

sport

• Portsmouth vs Middlesborough

vershieden

• the end of the world due to misguided media shoutings
• the Spanish with their 'pragmatism'
• 'the boy' or 'wunderkind' here's hoping he stays on his feet
• internal emails and work badges, a Hong Konger is always a Hong Konger regardless of where they live
  
• lunch with colleagues and knowing a random selection to make it different every day
• Enrique and his backhanded handshake
• a new season finally beginning
• realising that Hakka people will rule the world one day
• flirting with Hayley, the blondie from winchester