straight to the throat with the collar up

Never really understood the penchant for human misery, as this society grows older and merges into a new one this century, the cinema, the book, the music we all love, the endless pain of . The strive for poetic misery in human life. Maybe this sadness gives us context in where we live in our lives where we can fit into society. Maybe the actors/writers/musicians were so brilliant in understanding all the nuances of their feelings that slapping it onto an empty canvas was easier than whispering it into our ears. Maybe we like to see people more miserable than us, I stared at the ceiling for hours unable to sleep after watching Wong Kar Wai's 'In The Mood For Love', thinking maybe my life would ever end this badly, if I could take that sort of pain, would I survive the intensity of my own lies?

It felt like a hot summer night trying and failing at getting comfortable for sleep. Leave the window a little unlatched and a wind in the middle of the night will gust up, catch it and you will be freezing waking up in a sweat of wrapping yourself too closely to your duvet. Leave it latched and you can sleep moving from one side of the bed to the other. Cover on, too hot. Cover off, too cold. Your lover cuddles up to you used to the heat and you try to push them off the side of the bed onto the spikes you put into the floor of your bedroom.

Would I have survived the intensity of my own lies?

Love is all a matter of timing.
It's no good meeting the right person too soon or too late.
If I'd live in another time or place...
...my story might have had a very different ending

musik

• Honey, Just Allow Me One More Chance- Bob Dylan
• Starline- Genki Rockets
• Sunburn- Muse
• Girl Boy Song- Aphex Twin
• Bad Dog No Biscuits- Yoko Kanno
• Afro Samurai OST- RZA
• Yumejis Theme- In The Mood For Love OST

schwarzwiessfernsehen

• Afro Samurai

kino

• X2
• Dangerous Days-Making of Bladerunner
• Batman 1989
• Boyz n the Hood

vershieden

• a singular pint with Rich even if the weather is shit and the pictures are crap
• the German for acquring my first Bremen shirt,
• Katie
• Mitu wanting to know about art for artsake
• mixing random talking with Zoe and ending up with something else
• drawing shapes around clouds with my finger
• taking pictures of seagulls