red rocket blaze over Cape Canaveral

Lie down and look up into the blue sky, draw your finger across the sky and try and touch the sun. The tip of your finger glows for a moment before you blind yourself and everything is a mess of multicoloured whites.

After all the usual media bullshit of the Olympics made me completely indifferent to it all prior to Mitu telling me 'Andrew go watch the opening ceremony its magical'. Leave me enraptured by the event, indifferent to all the people talking about the same issues they know nothing about. I can smell racism even on the BBC but hey 'I shouldn't take myself too seriously'. But that's a debate not for these pages, it never will be, I leave that to Chuck D.

I admit it's rare for sporting occasions to make me feel in a way like music can clear all the thoughts in my mind, in a way films can bring me down to no room arrive, in a way reading the words from a page can catch a tear and not wipe it away. But I suppose the world never changes, the only thing that changes is when the photons stimulate the skin of the retina or when sonic pressure vibrates the small bones in the side of your head and sends the electrical impulses to the brain and what your mind creates from those impulses. Seeing the FA cup lifted by the Captain wearing a crescent of gold on a shade of azure on his chest, that brought me to tears, so many years of utter garbage and indifference turning into something that only made me feel pride but made the city the centre of the world for a few weeks.

But for the Olympics, there aren't any tears, Its not even seeing the medals being hung around the necks of the British for me its the change in the attitude that makes me proud, it shows that with application, talent and what I feel is the most important thing, hard work. Anything is achievable, we should throw those curtains wide and savour every moment of this and not wait forever for the next time.

She tells me that dinner is ready and all I can think about is her. I rush up behind her; she doesn’t stop me, my hand slipping up her skirt. She moans in my ear as I kiss her on the chest, my hand ever slower. I’m lost in a mess of black nylon fishnets and the attempt to remove my tie. Part of me hopes I’m caught red faced, and heavy handed, my wife slapping me across the face, ripping our marriage certificate as matter of fact. She won’t ever stop loving me, but right now my tongue is down my maid’s throat and we begin to writhe on the floor. I rip her stockings off and she straddles me. The fireplace keeps us warm from the guilt and lies, the 4 years of this, the four years of cooking roast dinner without Yorkshire puddings. She slips off her top and her breasts are full of youth and soft in the hearth light. I gently clasp them in my grey hands and she runs her hand over my chest.

musik

• Cape Canaveral- Conor Oberst
• Lights- Eri Nobuchiki
• Fury In My Eyes/ revenge (feat Thea)- RZA
• Goodbye Mr Lawerence- Ryuchi Sakamoto

kino

• Election 2 - Jonny To

videospiel

• No More Heroes- Suda 51/ Grasshopper

vershieden

• Katie telling me to buy clementines and not mandarins
• being surprised and unsurprised Conor has a new album and I didn't know
• feeling better and escaping the same shit I've been giving people
• Stuart for talking to me about HDTVs random moment of office work
• sleep
• watching the fastest man on earth for a second time