sunlight that surrounds you

The 80's were a pretty vivid place for me, I remember the most random facts, but that is for another post. The 90's is where I found some of myself and then left it out to grow out of date on the side before University and work set me free. Waking up on Sonnestag in the morning, the light isn't cascading through the clouds as it was yesterday, but I'm not complaining as its bright enough for me to save some cash on the electricity bills.

A few days ago I said to my friends I had burnt a paper with her name written on it, I suppose this is true in some ways, I made another decision after a month of much realisations. Baker was right in that we don't change much beyond 25 years of age, but then he's wrong because even post 25 we can still be malleable like any good length of steel. But for what I wanted to say, a few posts ago I wrote that untying the feelings in my mind was a full time occupation, but this has changed a bit more, it's more of a case that untying what drives us and motivates us the key to understanding all this. And then to let it all go.

I'm not saying letting go of your motivations, but to let go of the neuroses and the 'experiences' which hold you back. A different friend of mine Rich, he talked about the comfort zone, this isn't what he meant, but this is my interpretation.

Love you all my Beautiful Eggs.

Emily kept stirring her coffee, it was still too hot and she didn't want to burn her tongue. Instead she lit up another and hoped the cancer was eating her up from the inside. She was skinny but didn't feel it, her ribs were showing but she ate so much every day. She closed her eyes hoping that everybody would disappear from in front of her and the world would be quiet again.

She sipped her coffee and it was still too hot and she stuffed her earphones into her ear and played some music. The world fell silent and from the aether and the world was filled instead with strings playing Bach. She stirred her coffee some more.

Emily had light brown hair in the summer which turned a dark oak in the winter, her finger nails were painted the same oak colour and she was rather regretting her choice of coffee in such a warm day. Her father had been warning her of the day when the world would collapse and it would start with a warm spring time in the middle of the city. It was already June and the sun was at its highest, the people on their lunch breaks milling around looking for somewhere to sit down and eat. Emily wasn't that hungry but still attacked her muffin made by some poor student who had come to England hoping to get their degree but not intending to be working in a franchise coffee sweatshop. Emily hoped those sweatshops would fashion a dress she would want to buy.

musik

• Execution of All Things- Rilo Kiley
• Dance With Somebody- Whitney Houston
• Business Time- Flight Of The Conchords

schwarzweissfernsehen

• The Terminator- Sarah Conor Chronicles

vershieden

• my new pet name for Jose,
• sweetcorn being the best looking fruit in the world
• walking on a frozen river towards a castle, nearly cracking the ice on the aforementioned river,
• Making a work zombie film in Munich, there's mileage in it all.
• Ordering bread in Germs, slowly getting there.
• Finally getting a teapot
• Lily cooking me luncheon, was very nice,
• talking utter trash to Baker because I know he loves it,
• getting Leslie to commit to coming here and sampling some beers,
• Kinneav hopefully bringing the wife here sometime, will enjoy their egg faces,
• Janet should realise how much we are alike,
• Daffy Duck was always fucking better,
• not rising to the bait,
• the pretzel girl with the withered arm in the Hofbrauhaus.
• Looking forward to Susu's dumplings, yes yes yes.
• Steve Smith